authentic experience

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

too much porn

But I have been looking at too much porn lately. It's the dark stuff that gets into my head and makes me feel dirty--the bad kind of dirty--when people use porn to enact their issues, and it doesn't feel good to watch. When the woman's getting abused, basically. It's not for me.

And when I feel myself staying at the computer more than I really want to--just one more--it feels like long ago when I was unhappy and used porn for some comfort, but it was low quality and didn't nourish my soul.

So I need to lay off the porn for now. Yesterday, when I closed my eyes, I saw these close-ups of a cock sliding in and out of a cunt, and it got to the point where it wasn't beautiful or even nice, felt more like a compulsion. I had stumbled onto some pro stuff--not that all pro stuff has to be bad--but this was filled with gender trouble of the sort that smarts.

I like amateur stuff so much more, when the couple seems to love one another. I like the moment when one will reach for the other's hand, as they fuck, and I really think they like eachother.

Listening to me talk about porn is like listening to the ignorant talk about her ignorance--I really know nothing about it but what little I've seen with my own eyes or made in my own bedroom, very limited experience, and I will spare you, my dear reader.

4 Comments:

At Thursday, August 03, 2006 7:45:00 PM, Anonymous Shelley said...

Like you, I like amateur porn much more, when the couple seems to connect to each other.
Have you been reading anything about how porn has affected so many men these days?

 
At Friday, August 04, 2006 8:55:00 AM, Blogger greenlacewing said...

No, and I would welcome any thought about this or urls to information.

 
At Friday, August 04, 2006 3:25:00 PM, Anonymous Shelley said...

I did send you some info by email and I can post some websites here for your information.

 
At Tuesday, August 22, 2006 6:50:00 PM, Anonymous Scott said...

I really don't like the vast majority of the porn that's out there. Fortunately the sheer volume of it means there's still a fair amount I do like. My collection is skewed heavily toward amateur stuff, with some pro stuff thrown in, mostly produced by women. Abbey Winters and Viv Thomas come to mind.

I recently came across a copy of Kill Girl Kill 2, which I have to say is way beyond just about anything else I've seen in terms of artistic value. I'll have to look for more by the same director.

 

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