authentic experience

Thursday, April 29, 2010

authentic experience

"Kiss me until I forget who I am," I said.

He kissed me and stopped.

"I didn't forget who I--" He kissed me more and then stopped.

"Do you ever forget who you are?" he asked.

"Every time I come," I said.

"I don't," he said.

"You don't?" I asked.

"What does it mean to forget who you are?" he asked.

Monday, August 17, 2009

new sex zine

This zine is about being bisexual. It's available on paper and thread only. Email me if you're interested in trading for a copy. You can reach me at greenlacewingwoman at yahoo dot com.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

fourth of July

We got a new couch. A week ago, I wanted to masturbate there together, so we did. I loved the way the couch felt under the weight of my body. I felt supported in a different way from the support of a bed, and there was a new pleasure in my body as I came. My husband had been out hiking, and I had looked at porn while he was gone, masturbating and not letting myself come, though I badly wanted to, for a long time. So when we was home, and we masturbated together, I was surprised by the intensity of my orgasm. I had moved his hand to my cunt so he could do it, and I came immediately as he touched me.

But on the fourth of July, it was early evening, and I said I wanted to be close on the couch. We took the pink bed sheet from the closet and spread it over the couch. We took off our clothes and sat there. The pink bed sheet is very smooth, and it felt good and cool on my back and ass and legs.

First we masturbated together. My clitoris was slick and felt very real under my fingers. I watched as my husband rubbed his cock. Then I wanted him to stand before me so I could go down on him. I slowly sucked his cock. He stood very close to me as I sat. As I went down on him, I turned my head to one side than the other. I took it deep, all the way. Then I pushed him back and asked if he liked it. I leaned back so he could touch my tits. He said yes. So I went down on him again. I did it slowly and with great concentration.

Then I wanted to fuck him. I got a condom and set it there on the arm of the couch. He sat back, and I mounted him. It felt so good to have him inside of me. I fucked him in that way for as long as I liked. Then I stood and turned around. I fucked him facing away from him, and I enjoyed how different that felt. Finally, my legs were exhausted, and I stood again and turned to him. We smiled.

He took the condom off, and we masturbated again. Do you want me to suck your cock some more? I asked. He was concerned that the condom had made his cock taste bad, but I went down on him. Then I paused.

Would you fuck me, just for a little while? I asked. I lay back on the couch, my head on the arm rest. He got a condom and slipped himself inside of me. I had my legs wrapped around his ass and my arms wrapped around his back. I felt in complete contact with him. The couch held me from behind, supporting my body, caressing me, and then he was above me, thrusting himself inside of me, and an incredible warmth started to grow inside of me.

By now the room was dark, and there were distant thuds and cackles from neighborhood fireworks. I felt wholly embraced. I gave a little moan. The ache in my cunt started to grow. I knew I would come. I urged him on with my body, pushing against him. He thrust faster and harder. Then the waves of pleasure were crashing through my body. At first was the feeling of intense anticipation, and the first hit of pleasure. Then the waves crashed, and my entire life was one complete feeling of senseless, selfless pleasure. I grasped him hard. Maybe I hurt him.

The feelings subsided, and I was again aware of my surroundings. He continued to fuck me. I was myself again. I continued to enjoy his body inside of me. Then I pushed him off me. He told me, That was beautiful. He sat beside me, leaning against me, and I stroked his head again and again. I touched from the top of his head down to his beard. I became again an inhabiter of the world, still with the sensation of floating, just remembering the way I had just come, and thinking idly about what was next.

How do you want to come? I asked him. He told me that he wanted me to touch him very, very gently, with just one finger. I actually used two--my index finger and my thumb--and touched him so gently. It was fascinating to feel his cock in this new way. I would pause to put more spit on my fingers then return to my task. Faster or slower? I asked.

Faster, he said. I caressed the head of his cock, where it meets the shaft, and caressed down its length. I again caressed the head of his cock, where it meets the shaft, still gently but with more intensity. His cock was such a real, living thing under my fingertips. His body strained, his breathing changed, and I knew he was going to come. Then he was coming in my hand as I gently touched him and continued to gently touch him.

He got his teeshirt from the floor and used it the clean himself off. He had his arms around me and held me. The neighborhood fireworks noises had become intrusive. We cuddled. Then I went to bed and put earplugs in my ears and fell asleep until morning.

Thursday, May 15, 2008


He wasn't feeling well--he was upset about work. I know a way I could help you feel better, I said.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

a zine

I was reading a zine called Lazy Boy by Mike Baker. It's brilliant sex stories, more dark than what I usually read, but very good and sometimes arousing for me.

So last night, it was late, but I suggested to my husband, Want to masturbate together? I was afraid of being rejected but was very brave. He was tired but said okay.

So we got lubricant, and we lay there masturbating together in bed. The only light was from a lamp near our heads. Sometimes my eyes were closed and I imagined fucking. I imagined being held down by the wrists and pinned, taken roughly so that it hurt. I imagined fucking on a couch, an old couch with coarse fabric. I imagined fucking on the ground in a forest. I imagined being fucked to be impregnated, fucked without a condom, my husband putting it as hard and deep into me as he could, coming with all his might, to get that come as far inside me as possible.

What do you like to imagine? I'm often outside. I'm sunbathing nude in a secluded area of the beach. My husband comes to me as a stranger and takes me. In the forest, it's under trees, and I feel like an animal.

Do you want to watch me come? he asked. I said yes. I watched as the semen spurted out of him, and I saw the rhythm of his hand change as the feelings changed inside him. I looked at his face, and it was scrunched up in pleasure. I love you, he said.

I love you too, I said.

He cleaned up, and I wanted him to hurry. He touched my tits as I rubbed myself home. I imagined my clitoris as a cock. I imagined it pushing forward eagerly. I felt its largeness and slickness under my fingers. I took myself to the edge and stopped. I took myself to the edge and stopped again. I stayed there, moving my fingers so slightly, teasing myself. My husband was close to me. His face was on my face, and we listened to one another breathing. I let myself finally come, and it was everything I needed. I was completely silent, keeping all my feelings inside.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

sex meme

note: No one tagged me for this meme, so I don't think I need to tag anyone else.

Some of my answers to these questions show shocking ignorance, so have mercy on me.

This is Isabella’s Sex Meme. Anyone is welcome to steal it but you must post this rules blurb at the beginning of the meme:

1. You must include this link to Sex Talk - Sex Advice for Men.

2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained.

3. You must tag three people.

1. Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?

I like afternoon and early evening best. That's when my sex drive is strongest and I have the energy.

2. Better Sex Music - Sade or Marvin Gaye?

Neither--something classical would work, though.

3. Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Videos?


4. Fabulous Sex With: Dr Doug Ross or Dr Greg House?

Who are these people?

5. Vibrator or Dildo?


6. Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?

Lights on. But see answer #1. In the afternoon, lights aren't an issue.

7. Word Preference: Pussy or Cunt?

Cunt--I never use the p word.

8. Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?

I would like either, though we never do over the knee.

9. More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Aeroplane?


10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North?

I'm not familiar with either of these people. The first name is familiar--I'm thinking they're porn stars.

11. Word Preference? Cock or dick?

Cock, though I do use dick sometimes.

12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson?

I don't know who these people are. The second name is familiar--I'm thinking these are porn stars too.

13. Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?

I prefer soft things.

14. Give Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?

I am interested in having anal sex but have never tried either of these.

15. Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?

I would rather strip, but only very few people would be interested.

16. Which Threesome - Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?

Two boys.

17. Flavoured Oil or Tingling Oil?

Never tried either.

18. Pearl Necklace or Swallow?

The first.

19. Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex with a Stranger?

Sex while strangers watch. Though I think I would prefer sex while friends watch.

20. Tied to the Bed or to a St Andrew’s Cross?

I don't know what a St Andrew's Cross is, so I'll take the bed.

Monday, April 28, 2008

good girl

I checked out from the library Anais Nin’s book of erotica Delta of Venus and was surprised at how quickly and completely it turned me on. I’m used to reading explicit accounts on sex blogs, but it had been a long time since I read something like that in a book. I lay reading in bed, and my cunt ached with lust. I knew I needed sex badly and soon.

So I took a shower, and then had my husband take a shower. I stood naked in the hall and came to him in the bathroom. He was drying off. I took the towel from him and dried off his back and ass and the backs of his legs.

I put his hands on my breasts. He massaged them and touched my nipples. I touched his balls and led him to bed. I kneeled and took his cock in my mouth. I reached down to touch my cunt and felt its slickness. My clitoris was large and sensitive. I masturbated and sucked his dick. It felt so eager and young. I was struck by the knowledge of his youth. It got bigger in my mouth, and I knew he was really turned on.

Do you like that? I asked, looking at him. I leaned back so he could touch my tits.

Yes, he told me. So I sucked his cock some more. I touched his balls as I sucked it, and I used my hand to jerk him off as I sucked just the head.

I leaned back again so he could touch my tits. Do you like the way I suck your cock? I asked.

Yes, he said. I sucked his cock again. I did it fast. His skin was very present to me, and his shape.

Then I lay back on the bed and gestured that I wanted him on top of me. I rubbed my cunt against his body. He pushed against me rhythmically. I very quietly moaned in rhythm with his pushes.

He pulled away and slipped his fingers against my cunt. He touched my clitoris tenderly. Penetrate me, I said. He slipped his fingers inside me and fucked me with them. Then he touched my clitoris again, more firmly this time. I very quietly moaned.

I sucked his cock again. He was on his knees, and I bent forward to get him in my mouth. I enjoyed the awkwardness of the angle.

I longed to be fucked. I lay back on the bed and told him, I want you to fuck me. He agreed. I twisted around to reach for condoms and handed them to him. I sucked his cock again. He masturbated, slipped on a condom, and slipped himself inside me.

God, I loved how it felt to have him inside of me. He fucked me soundly. I touched my nipples. My right hand was wet from masturbating. I put some of the moisture on my left nipple too. I enjoyed being fucked.

Oh, yeah, I said. That feels so good.

Yeah, he said.

Do you like how it feels to fuck me? I asked.

Yeah, he said.

Does it make your cock feel good? I asked.

Yeah, he said.

If you keep fucking me like this, I’m going to come, I said. My clitoris was rubbing up against his body, and everything was slick. It was inevitable. Is that what you want? I asked.

Yeah, he said.

I would do anything for you, I said.

I would do anything for you, he said. The feelings grew intense.

Slow! I said urgently.

Mmm, he said.

I’m going to come, I said.

Mmm, he said.

And I came. I pushed against him with all the strength of my body. The waves rushed through my body, and I moaned thoughtlessly.

For a long time he continued to fuck me. The feelings grew less intense and receded. I caressed his shoulders and touched his back. I ran my hands over his body slowly.

Then he rolled off me. I tried to put his hand to my cunt, but he refused. He had used that hand to masturbate with for a few seconds earlier, and we try to be very careful (some of his precome might have gotten on his hand, and we wouldn’t want the sperm from his precome to impregnate me).

So I touched my cunt myself. I rubbed myself hard and strained toward the second orgasm. I masturbated--stopped. Masturbated--stopped. Finally I masturbated and kept going until the waves were pushing through my body again, this time quicker and more blinding but over soon.

He looked at me. We cuddled closely.
That was beautiful, he said. Don't you think that was beautiful?

Yeah, I said. We looked at one another. What do you want? I asked.

I want to come, he said. He lay on his back and masturbated. I drew my face close to his cock, just watching. He paused to put more spit on his hand, and I took advantage of the opportunity to put spit on my hand and take over.

I did it slowly, quickly, in sets of three, and he said,
I'm going to come, so I did it fast, and he came in my hand. I kept touching him for a long time. His face was contorted with pleasure when I looked at him--his eyes were closed.

We cleaned up and cuddled more.
Tell me I'm a good girl, I said.

He pet my hair.
You're a good girl, he said. Good girl. Good girl. I was smiling.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

orally fixated

Yesterday I wanted him in my mouth. I had him lie on his side. I lay on my back, masturbating and sucking his cock, my head turned toward him. I felt greedy for it. It was large and so real in my mouth. I liked best when the motion was his, when he pushed it in and out of my mouth on his own. Still, I sucked, and I wanted him to come in my mouth, but we hadn't discussed it. As I masturbated, I imagined sucking his cock--I imagined doing exactly what I was doing.

I stopped and asked if he liked it. I had tasted his pre-come, so I knew the answer to my question. He let me know that he had become uncomfortable on his side, so I suggested, "Would you like to fuck my mouth?"

He injured his arm a few days ago, so he wasn't sure, but we decided to try. I lay on my back masturbating. He positioned himself as if doing a push up, his his cock in my mouth. "I want you to come, if you can," I said. He fucked my mouth soundly. I liked the way I wasn't in control. I listened to his breathing as it got faster and harder.

"I'm going to come," he warned me. I was surprised, so soon. I nodded, and his semen was spurting down my throat. I hadn't intended to swallow, but I found myself swallowing. I was overwhelmed. I let myself come then, at my own hand, though I was very preoccupied with the cock that was coming in my mouth.

I sat up and rubbed my mouth on his knee. I felt my teeth on his skin. I rubbed my mouth on his knee again and again. His legs are beautiful, substantial.

We cuddled close. I kissed him, and I think he hesitated--maybe he didn't want to taste his own semen in my mouth. He held me and stroked my hair.

Friday, December 07, 2007


Afterwards, I went to the bathroom. I looked into the mirror, and my hair was all messy. I looked beautiful.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

in November

I wanted to have sex last night, but he was working. I went to bed and fell asleep waiting for him.

He woke me up gently. When are we going to be close? he asked.

Tomorrow, I said.

So tonight he had more work to do, but we planned he would work for an hour and then take a shower and we'd have our way with one another. I'm going to look at porn while you're in the shower, I said. He plugged in the headphones for me.

I went to an amateur porn site that I like and watched men and women enjoying one another. I listened to the sounds they made. A particular women was being fucked from behind by a very enthusiastic man. There was a sound of flesh upon flesh every time he thrust himself into her--he was doing it fast. The perspective was such that we could see her face and her breasts and couldn't see any of the penetration. But the sound of flesh upon flesh turned me on, and the gaspy sounds he made. He slapped her ass as he fucked her.

Then my husband was out of the shower, clean and ready. Do you want to watch something together? he asked.

My kind or your kind?

Whichever, he said.

We can watch your kind, I said. So we sat down in front of his computer and he went to Porno Tube to search for ejaculation videos. I hiked up my skirt and pulled down my chonies with my right hand while my left hand went to my left nipple. My husband pulled down his boxer shorts and grasped his cock.

We watched men jacking off and masturbated as we watched. My husband chose which videos. My eyes moved from the man who was masturbating on the screen to the man who was masturbating in a chair beside me. I admired the style of someone who jacked off quickly, his cock in his fist, pumping only the shaft. I enjoyed the various perspectives: sidelong, straight on, the bird's eye view. I noticed how some men had their jeans down around their ankles, while some had taken off the pants entirely. Some men had their socks on, and some were entirely nude. The nude men had stomach muscles that were supposed to impress me.

As I masturbated, I found my clit to be more and more wet as lubrication filled my cunt. I would rub myself in time with the man on the screen, pretending to be him. I would rub myself between videos, just using my imagination. It got so I had to stop so I wouldn't come. I would stop and go, stop and go, a bit dangerously. My left hand grasped my left nipple and gently rubbed it then visited the right.

I'm ready, I said. I was tired of this porn and wanted to fuck.

We took off our clothes. I got a condom and opened its wrapper, setting the condom on top.

We masturbated in bed. I was upright, on my knees, rubbing myself. He lay on his back looking at me. He rubbed my nipples, one then the other, and I watched him jerk himself off. I got to the point where I really wanted to come and stopped.

I turned and went onto all fours. He got the condom and put it on behind me. He thrust into me, and it had been a long time since we'd had penetrative sex. Feeling him inside me felt right and as he pushed into me over and over again, I pushed back. As he fucked me, I imagined him fucking me. He moved slowly. I guessed that he was going slow so he wouldn't come. He was deep inside of me. It's okay if you come, I said.

I love you, he said.

I love you, I said.

Then he did it faster. Our bodies made the sound of flesh on flesh like in the pornography video I had watched. It felt good. I moved my right hand to my clit. It felt large on my fingers. I touched myself until I was about to come then moved my hand away. I did this again and again until I couldn't take it anymore and let myself come.

I felt a force grow in my abdomen. My cunt ached, and then there was an explosion of sensation throughout my body. I whimpered and cried out as the feelings coursed through my body. He fucked me hard as I came, hungry for it--he was the powerful man who could satisfy me, and I was the woman who wanted it. I rubbed myself for a long time as he fucked me and the feelings went on and on, as if I had come many times rather than just one.

Then I was exhausted and collapsed, still rubbing myself, but he had withdrawn and was beside me, looking at my face. He looked pleased with himself. I saw him and felt sheepish. He rubbed his forehead on my forehead. We rubbed our heads together like this, and we caressed each other.

How do you want to come? I asked.

I want to film myself, he said.

I was surprised. Okay, I said.

Is it okay? he asked.

Yeah, for sure, I said. He got the digital camera.

Is it okay if I come on a towel? he asked.

Yeah, that's fine, I said.

He went for a towel, and I lay beside him luxuriously. I felt calm and peaceful, still inhabiting the sensations of my body.

I watched my husband rubbing his cock and filming himself from above. You're beautiful, he said, glancing at my breasts.

Thank you, I said.

Are you ready? he asked.

I was surprised he was going to come so soon. Yeah, I said.

He increased the speed of his thrusts into his hand, and the semen was spurting out onto the towel. I watched loyally. I felt somewhat detached, like a scientist observing this mammal, yet loving and present.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

what happiness feels like

We were lying in bed, and he was reading to me. I realized I wanted sex. He went to do something on the computer. I spread the soft blanket on the living room floor and got two condoms and some lube. I held them up in the air to show him, as he looked up from the computer. I thought I was bored, I said. Then I realized I was something else.

We took off all our clothes, and we stood face to face. I moved his hands to my breasts. He held them and brushed my nipples with his fingertips.

I reached down to his cock and played with it, then lightly held his balls, then grabbed his cock again, alternating between the two, and finally settling on his cock. I put spit in my hand and jacked him off--he was fully erect now. His eyes were closed. He enjoyed it.

Then I got down on all fours for him to fuck me from behind. I put a little pillow under my chest and another under my head. My business end stuck up into the air. He was behind me, getting on the condom, and thrust into me.

His fuck was so sweet. We were very close physically. His legs were right up against my legs. The fucking was deep. He rammed it into me. I muttered a pleased sound. He muttered back. He would go slow, taking his cock almost all the way out, to push it all the way in again. He would fuck quickly, hitting a deep place inside me over and over again.

We made small sounds to one another. I was perfectly comfortable, with my pillows just so, propped up on my elbows. Sometimes I just relaxed and let him do it to me. Other times I was alert and pushed back. Sometimes I pushed back hard, and I was the one doing the fucking, eager and insistent.

I imagined him pulling out to come on my back. This is one of the things I most like to imagine, lately. The idea must have been put there by porn, but I don't care where it came from. I want to feel his cum hot on my back. I want to imagine seeing it third person as it happens to me.

Come in me, I told him. In just a few seconds, he was thrusting jaggedly as he came inside me, moaning quietly, and I felt somehow proud or justified.

(It had been a long time since he had come inside of me. We think it's safer if he comes other ways. Usually we fuck and then he'll come jacking off, or with me jacking him off.)

Then I lay on my back. He touched my nipples as I rubbed my clit and imagined him coming on my back some more, as I remembered the moment when he actually did come, imagined him doing it more aggressively and harsh, imagined it over and over again until I heard myself whimper in a way that sounded like fear, and the hot waves were crashing throughout my body. He held me, and I was happy.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

an apology and a situation

I'm sorry I've been updating so rarely. I don't know if any of my readers are still with me, but hopefully some of you check back, and hopefully some of you use a service that alerts you when a new post is made. Life is getting in the way of art. But here's what happened yesterday evening.


Yesterday evening I felt like being close. I took off my clothes while he took a shower.

We were naked on a blanket on the living room floor. He sat between my legs with his back to my front. I got some lube and reached around to touch his cock. First I just played with it. It grew large in my hand. Then I jacked him off, slow and fast in turn. I liked to feel his cock push back.

I could hear his little sounds so well because my head was so near his. I liked the feeling of being on his back like when we're sleeping on our sides and I curl up on his back. I felt safe and comfortable.

I kept jacking him off, listening to his little sounds, until he muttered that he might come, and then the semen was spurting on me, hot on my hand, and I kept jacking him off until his cock was no longer so erect.

I washed up, and we lay on the floor. He told me how good I made him feel while I masturbated and he touched my nipples. When I came, he held me.

Coming is like a wonderful emergency.