authentic experience

Monday, February 12, 2007

what to do in the afternoon

I took a shower and lay on the bed undressed, petting Kitty.

Are you two having a moment? my husband asked.

We're having a series of moments, I said.

He went to take a shower. I got the lubricant and a condom unwrapped and placed them by his pillow. I lay on my back, with my legs spread wide and knees bent. There was a pillow under my head, and a pillow under each of my knees--I felt extremely comfortable. There were blankets under my back, but not under my butt, which tilted my pelvis at a nice angle and made my back very comfortable in a way my yoga teacher taught me for shavasana.

I thought of the sex I would soon be getting. I gently fingered my nipples and touched softly the outer lips of my cunt. It was afternoon, and the sun was out. Sunlight shone on the bed, and it was nice to get a break from the rain. I felt impatient. I wanted him. Finally I heard him turn off the water.

I saw something on the bed that made me feel excited, he said.

Yeah, hopefully me! I said, and we laughed.

He touched my nipples. We kissed, and he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He pushed his body against mine, and I told him I was happy to know I would be getting some sex.

Should I put lubricant on you? he asked.

No, I said. Lick. He was surprised by this request and went down on me. It was very sudden that my clit was being stimulated like this, and I was moaning immediately. Put your finger inside of me, I said, and he slipped a middle finger inside my cunt. I liked this very much, and every so often, he would give a little thrust, and my moans would get louder. I was overcome with feeling, and the sensations he gave me were my entire world.

The feelings were reaching a high pitch very quickly, and I didn't want to come yet, so I pushed him away. He was unfazed and went at me again with more energy. I enjoyed this additional moment. Then I pushed him away with more force, and he held me. We kissed, and I touched his cock with spit on my hand. It was extremely excitable, and it pushed eagerly at my hand. (Is it wrong that his cock sometimes reminds me of a puppy?)

I pushed my tits together, and he fucked them for a moment. It didn't work so well without lubricant. But I wanted to go down on him. Sit here, I said, and patted my chest. He settled his ass on my chest and put his cock in my mouth, and I liked being pinned like this. I licked its length and sucked at it happily, rhythmically. My cunt ached with lust. He fucked the roof of my mouth and the entrance to my throat. I looked up into his face. He looked slightly uncomfortable and extremely pleased. I was overjoyed to feel him in my mouth. Thoughts passed quickly through my mind. Was it wrong to be so dedicated to sex like this? My religion tries so hard to discredit the pleasures of the flesh. I tried to see it as wrong and failed.

I rubbed my clit. It was swelled big and wet from when he went down on me and from my own arousal. Rubbing myself like this, I could come at any moment. I felt like I could keep sucking his dick for an eternity. I had to force myself to slow down and stop masturbating periodically so I wouldn't come.

Eventually, it was too much for me. I needed him to fuck me, or I was going to die--that's how it felt. I needed something big, substantial, and living in my cunt. I pushed him off of my chest. Do you want me to fuck you now? he asked, and I said yes. I had never felt more ready.

He put on the condom and rammed himself into me at full force. I cried out at the wanted intensity of it. He fucked me with a great deal of strength. He pounded me, and my cunt felt simultaneously an intense yearning to be filled and an intense animal gratefulness at being filled. My nerves were pushed to capacity. We moved together in waves of rough sex. I was groaning continuously, and he was quietly moaning. His face contorted into a violent grimace. His hard, jagged thrusts healed me. I felt I was being punished in a fabulous, longed for way. I felt he was saying to me with every ram of his thick cock, Take that for making me so horny. Take that for making me want you so bad, you charming little bitch. And the punishment was of course the highest reward possible in all of the possible human experience: true and complete love enacted as the hottest sex possible.

I want you, I said. I want you to fuck me so bad, I said. Please fuck me. Please fuck me. I begged for it as I received it--I had instantaneous compliance. I let all the desire from the past few days express itself in my words.

Yeah, he said. Yeah. And he gave it to me harder. I studied his expression: that violent grimace which I knew was deepest love. I looked into his eyes and felt completely understood and that I completely understood him. I valued his look because I knew it had taken so many years for us to achieve this degree of safety. He sucked on my nipple for a moment as he fucked me. His mouth was passionate on my tits. He sucked hard, but briefly, and his attention shifted entirely to the impact of his fucking again.

You can come whenever you want, I whispered. I wanted him to feel complete freedom to come, but I was also having fantasies of him shooting his semen all over my tits. This was a thought I was holding in my mind as he rammed himself inside of me and I pushed back, accepting his force and countering with force of my own. My moaning was like whimpering.

I was at the verge of coming. It's been years since I was able to come from penetration without stimulation of my clit by fingers, but it was on the verge of happening. I wanted it as I wanted him.

I'm going to come, he said, and he bucked as he fucked me and cried, Ahhhhhh! and the thrusts took on another quality as he was overwhelmed with feeling. His hand went to the condom, and he continued to lie there in my arms, thrusting into me, his cock pushing against my clit, and I moaned because I was still at the verge of coming but did not.

As soon as he withdrew, my hand was at my cunt, and I rubbed myself. He touched my tits, and my cries got higher pitched. He knew when I was about to come, and he pushed my hand away and did it himself. He rubbed my clit hard and fast, harder and faster than I would have myself, and I came with an intensity that filled my entire body, from my teeth through my arms and abdomen, down through my legs to my feet and toes--all radiating from my cunt as every squeeze of my cunt and squeeze of my heart pumped the feeling through my entire body, and for a long time I felt this. He continued touching me as it gradually died down and became a more conventional pleasure.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

how good it can feel

We went without for almost a week because of travel to the home of relatives, so yesterday afternoon, I took a shower and was on my way out the door for an errand, but sex seemed like such a good idea. I paused in the middle of dressing and undressed. My husband joined me in bed. Going without for a week, I was feeling a little shy.

Touch my tummy, I said, and he did. It felt good to know I would be getting sex soon.

Touch my breasts, I said, and he did. Yes, I could remember this.

I asked for a penis presentation, and he kneeled to my left. I touched his cock and then sucked it until it was big, and I listened to his unsteady breathing as it slipped in and out of my mouth.

What do you want today? he asked. I wanted him to fuck me, of course. He got a condom and positioned himself between my legs, jacking off for a moment.

I want you so bad, I said.

He slipped into my cunt. He felt substantial and strong on top of me. He felt large and the most welcome possible wanted and necessary inside of me. I savored every thrust. I pushed back with my entire being. I caressed his shoulders and dug my nails in gently. I held him to me. I looked into his eyes and saw his intent expressions.

We fucked in this way for a long time. God, it feels so good, I told him. My clit was getting a lot of contact with his body, and I thought I might come. We were very close. He sucked on my left nipple as he fucked me. I caressed his back and held his upper arms. He groaned and grunted.

Do you want me to turn over? I asked. He nodded. Is that what you want? I asked. He said yes. So I turned over, and he fucked me from behind. He entered me very deeply, and I could tell he was so excited. His animal self was taking over, a self I love. I felt him so intimately, yet I didn't see him, and I like this combination of circumstances. I listened and felt.

Give it to me, I said. Give it to me. He fucked me, and I wiggled my ass at him.

I'm going to come, he said, and he did, fucking me hard, with low, long moans.

After slow and slower thrusts, he withdrew, and I lay down more completely on my tum, my fingers to my clit, and rubbed myself as he held me. He told me that he loves me. My clit was vibrant with pleasure, all ecstatic nerves. I knew that coming would be easy and would feel as good as it gets, so I took my time, unhurried, and consciously relaxed my body, to just languish in the feelings of sex.

Since I was lying on my tum, my husband couldn't touch my breasts, but I like the way it felt to have the bed against me, and his soft, loving hands stroked my back, making me feel so safe.

My clit felt huge, and as I rubbed it slowly, I remembered the fuck I had just received. I imagined his face as he came, a sight I hadn't seen. I imagined us on the bed from third-person perspective. I imagined his cock hitting me at the angles I most enjoy, and the sensation of being penetrated deeply, to the hilt.

The inevitability accumulated, and the pleasure's intensity reached its crescendo. I let myself fall into the feeling and turned my head as I cried out and the pleasure pumped through my body, as real as anything.