authentic experience

Monday, June 12, 2006


We talked more about how we feel about monogamy. I feel so safe that I can talk about anything with him.

He's protective of me and has seen me get hurt many times. Protectiveness is never an excuse for controlingness, but I know his heart is in the right place. In fact, that's why I married him, short answer. I have never known anyone whose heart was more true and pure-singing perfectly full of honest care. He knows himself very well and can see when any self-interest tinges his behavior.

He had never thought about these things very much. He had taken culture's views as his own. He thought a wife having sex with a man other than her husband was the ultimate in disrespect. He didn't know other arrangements are possible. You know how it is when you're first trying to get your mind around something, and it can take a while. He brings up biological / evolutionary reasons behind the feelings that I'm not sure I buy.

At any rate, I'm not interested in anyone with whom a romance would be possible anyway. I have high standards and an iron will of not letting myself get pushed into anything. Other than toward my husband, I have strong feelings only toward one friend, and my husband has strong feelings toward the same friend, but nothing's possible. But it's good to have these topics within the conversational realm. I have never felt closer.


At Tuesday, June 13, 2006 4:37:00 AM, Blogger Fat Controller said...

What a lovely blog. Your love for each other just shines through. I'm going to keep coming back for more.

I hear you with regard to birth control. We have two wonderful kids but didn't want more. The pill just produced horrendous mood swings and in the end more serious medical problems. Condoms were the best answer for a time but having 'the snip' was the best decision I ever took (apart from saying 'Yes' to my wife of course)but then I was 43 at the time.

Twiddlybits (
suggests using a cockring over the condom to prevent it slipping off-maybe this would help?

At Tuesday, June 13, 2006 11:57:00 AM, Blogger greenlacewing said...

Thank you for your praise and for the cockring suggestion! I will look into that!


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