authentic experience

Friday, May 19, 2006

the relationship between anxiety and sex

I was really anxious. We were lying in bed, and he was cuddling me for comfort. Then I was thinking of sex, and we were playing a game we play, had just got to "N" when I couldn't ignore his balls anymore and started kissing them without comment. I have an undeniable attraction to his balls, especially when they're loose and floppy, but this attraction is in service of another attraction--his dick. So I kissed his balls and then moved on to his dick, which is so kissable, and then proceeded to go down on him, game over.

My mouth and hand took turns, and I listened to him gasp and murmur. It had been days. He was sensitive. I took my time, and then had mercy on him and made him come.

We cuddled more, I washed my hands, and I took my time bringing myself to come too, with the blue vibrator inside me, and we felt very close there in the half-dark.

We cuddled more and went to bed early. We were so sleep-deprived.

Often it happens that anxiety will lead to sex--it's just the thing to get my mind off itself. The bad chemicals of fear can become good chemicals of excitement, sometimes. The mind is looking for something to turn to. Sex is about the only thing distracting enough.


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