authentic experience

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

transformative and healing rough sex for his birthday

Yesterday it was his birthday. When he got home from work, I made a delicious dinner, he took a shower, and we went to bed. It was cold in our apartment. We cuddled and talked under three blankets, naked and happy.

Then I dove under the covers to suck his dick. It grew from small to large in my mouth. I took my time and enjoyed myself. I’ll fuck you all night, I told him. We had nothing to do until he had to be at work the next morning.

I would pause in my pursuit of going down on him and jack him off quickly, so fast that my hand would be a blur. I could tell he really liked it.

Then I would lower my mouth to his cock again and suck, bobbing my mouth up and down the length of him, licking and lapping where the head meets the shaft on the underside, seeing how far I could get it down my throat, listening to his gasps, hard breathing, whimpers, and moans.

We were in the semi-dark. Only small paper lantern christmas lights lit the bedroom. We were happy and comfortable. I felt very myself.

I took a break and had him touch my tits. I put his hand between my legs and made him rub my clit. He asked if he should get some lubricant, but then his fingers found how wet I was, and he rubbed me with my own wetness.

I was so aroused, and he was too. The way he touched my cunt made me go into a world so hazy--yet I felt alert also, and very conscious of everything about him: his cock pressing against my arm, his warm breath, and faint smell of our favorite soap on his skin.

I dove under the covers to suck his dick again. I fucked him with my mouth. I want you to tell me what to do, I said. Would you do that for me?

Yes, he said.

Could you tell me sort of aggressively? I asked.

Yes, he said.

Suck my cock, he said, as I went down on him fast and hard. Suck it, he said. Suck my dick. You have no idea how I felt when he said this to me. My cunt was buzzing with arousal, and the lust felt so strong, it was like pain.

More aggressively, I whispered.

Suck it! he said. Suck my cock! His voice was steady and commanding. I whimpered with the excitement of it as I gave him what he asked for. (In regular life, I have no interest in being told what to do and in fact would be furious, but this act was accessing some intense psychological desire to feel my husband’s sexual power in blatant way. I didn’t know I wanted this.)

Suck the dick, he said, and I obeyed him, ecstatic, slowing down when necessary so he wouldn’t come. Suck it slow, he said, and I slurped at it, so slowly yet not gentle, very intense and rough somehow, in response to his performed roughness.

Again I came up for air, and he held me and played with my nipples as we caught our breath. What do you want to happen next? I asked.

I want to fuck you, he said.

I belong to you, I said. You can do anything you want with me.

I going to fuck you and make my cock feel good however I like, he said.

That’s what I want you to do, I said. I’m yours.

He went to the bathroom, and I got a condom out of its wrapper and put it on the corner of the bed. I lay there rubbing my clit.

Kneel, I told him, when he came back to bed. I rubbed my clit with my right hand and jacked him off with my left. He touched my tits. Jiggle them, I told him, because I know he likes to see them move like that. Look at my tits, I said, and he moaned.

His cock was large in my hand, so alive and real. It seemed to push at me with an energy of its own. It seemed animal and somehow mysterious, more sacred and magical than usual.

Are you ready for me to fuck you? he asked.

I want it. I’m so horny for you, I said, and I felt like I was admitting it. I was so horny, it was almost embarrassing. I didn’t remember ever feeling so horny in my life.

He got the condom, and when I looked at him near me on the bed, he seemed to glow with a profound attractiveness. You have never looked more beautiful to me, I said. It had never been more evident that he’s my dearest example of god.

He put the condom on his cock and jammed himself inside of me. We were high on the feelings of that penetration. Our sounds were persistent. He fucked me hard, and his face showed the intense emotion he was feeling. He was almost wincing with it, and I was too. I grunted and gave myself over to the sex. Do you want it? he asked. Do you want it?

Yes, I said. Please. Please, please, please give me your cock. I begged him for it as he pounded himself inside of me. He had never been more desirable.

Then he grabbed my wrists and pinned me down on the bed. Our cries intensified. Is this what you wanted? he asked.

Yes, I said. I want it. Please give me your cock.

Take it, he said. Take it! He fucked me aggressively, yet luxuriously, unhurried.

Look at my tits, I said, and his groans became louder as he watched them move rhythmically in response to the force of his body with mine.

We fucked in this way for a long time. It was rough and delicious. We were in a world where only sex existed. I begged for his cock, and he gave it to me. The sex went on and on. What a birthday—this was before cake.

Between gasps he told me he might come. We paused.

Do you want me to turn over? I asked.

He said yes, and I went on all fours. He fucked me harder than ever. His cock was so deep in me, and ramming me with such force. We were crying out, and he said, I’m going to come, as his cries got loud and he found the highest point of pleasure, and his release. I felt so much empathy that I was making sounds like his, as if I were coming too.

We lay down together then, and I rubbed my clit as he told me sweet things about what we had just done. He touched my breasts, and my feelings were becoming more strong and powerful. You do it, I said, and he took over rubbing my cunt.

I knew I couldn’t keep from screaming, so I grabbed the nearest pillow and pressed it to my mouth, listening to the muffled yells and then muffles screams as my body was not quite my own but completely overtaken by the most powerful waves of pleasure I have ever felt. Everything was a blur of fiery feeling.

Slowly I regained everyday consciousness. We held eachother, and I couldn’t stop stroking his shoulders and neck. I asked him if everything we’d done had been okay. Something had felt unsafe, how animal I’d felt, and I needed reassurance that I hadn’t done anything wrong. He was very kind to me and told me how everything that had happened was good and in fact just what he wanted.

I felt safe to tell him, That was the best sex of my life. That’s the fuck I’ve been waiting for my entire life, and I felt that our seven years together had been preparing us for this particular evening. We could never have had such an honest, present experience without everything we had been through already, knowing one another so well, and all the hundreds of times we had had sex previously.

He agreed. And I told him, I feel like a new person now. I felt like I had started a new life.


At Monday, December 18, 2006 8:09:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fabulously written - what a great crescendo, I felt driven along with the sheer pleasure of it. Rough sex can be great and I agree there is that weird feeling of slight embarrassment when you feel that immensely horny... it's so intimate to admit to that degree of feeling and drive. Of course it all adds to the excitement and feeds it... Nice one. I'll be back.

At Monday, December 18, 2006 8:32:00 AM, Blogger greenlacewing said...

Thanks for your praise, and thanks for linking to me.

At Tuesday, December 19, 2006 8:05:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pleasure. I'm amazed by the high quality of writing out here on the web. Very encouraging. Being a competitive person it will hopefully push me to improve my own meagre writing skills!

At Tuesday, December 19, 2006 8:09:00 AM, Blogger greenlacewing said...

Yes, I'm amazed by all the first-rate writing too. I'm not a competitive person but enjoy it just the same.


At Tuesday, December 26, 2006 12:40:00 AM, Blogger Pandora said...

Isn't it wonderful when you can just let go and succumb to your lust for each other? there is never anything wrong with that. beautiful.

At Tuesday, December 26, 2006 8:09:00 AM, Blogger greenlacewing said...



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