more porn

I value the reminder my friend Shelley provides me, that porn can become an obsession, and how unreal depictions can shift what turns a person on to something impossible in real life. How porn can train a person to unrealistic expectations. How porn can isolate. And how porn can ratchet up what it takes for someone to get off.

Toward the end of my first marriage, I turned to porn a lot for comfort, and it wasn't good porn either. I was lonely and miserable at the time.

I don't think I'm in danger of using porn in an unhealthy way nowadays because I'm careful to pay attention to the way I feel. I use porn only in a way that makes me feel happy. Also, if I feel I'm over doing it, I take a break.

There's nothing like real life, and the vast majority of what's important to me can be found only in real life. Love, for example. Smell--the smell of my husband's neck, his balls, his hair. It makes me horny to be listened to, intimate conversations, vulnerability, being close friends for a long time. Long hugs and holding hands. How it feels to be liked. Eye contact, having my hair touched. Porn gives me nothing of this.

But it's good to be reminded that porn is powerful, and I should be careful, so thank you for thinking of my well-being.