porn viewing and what happened after

Yesterday, we watched straight porn together for the first time. We had looked at gay porn together, before. I had to be very brave to watch this straight porn with him. Somehow my porn viewing seemed more real, now that I had a witness. It was emotionally difficult, especially afterwards, feeling the gnaw of guilt after a life of being told how tamped down and unimportant my sexual feelings were supposed to be if I wanted to be a moral, respectable woman. By viewing this porn, I was defying all of that, and should I be embarassed or ashamed? I know rationally that my habits are healthy, but it scares me sometimes to step so far away from what my family and culture have trained me to be.

On another, more animal level, we were just horny to the point of drooling. I rubbed my clit with my right hand as I jacked him off with my left, watching the hottest of the porn I had found on my own, over the past few weeks: enthusiastic couples doing it in hotel rooms, a young three-some in Germany.

Slow down, he kept cautioning me, so he wouldn't come as I touched his cock. I had to stop a few times myself so I wouldn't come, until finally we were flushed and shakey and made our way to the bedroom.

He fucked me from behind so deeply, we were gasping. My cunt had never felt so slippery--it felt like he wasn't even wearing a condom. We were out of our minds.

My cunt ached with the need to come. I reached my right hand to my clit and gave a few rubs until I was crying and making high-pitched shrieking sounds as I came, one of the most intense orgasms that I remember, as he pounded me from behind.

Then he came too, as out of control as I had been, bucking and crying out.

We cuddled for a long time, exhausted and spent: that strange feeling when reality hits you, and slowly you're a human being again. It's okay to leave the trance when I'm in his arms, we're sleepy, and we're filled with religious peace.