intensity

Yesterday we went to a kirtan concert of Hindu devotional music, and it was my first. I loved it. I'm a shy person who avoids crowds, so a concert is a rarity for me. But I love this particular artist, so we bought tickets and took the drive.

It reminded me of sex the way the songs would build up in intensity. It was ecstatic. It made me feel vulnerable sometimes, like is this okay to be feeling in public? And it was all so wonderful, the feeling of losing myself, and very high, like drugs but with more clarity. Blinded and blindsided by pleasure, yet alert and very present.

This feeling of building intensity, when you want more and more, is so like sex, yet many things in nature are like this--childbirth, floods, even the moon's cycles? Menstruation? An argument, a story.