authentic experience

Thursday, April 20, 2006

enactment and late

Yesterday afternoon we enacted one of my earliest sexual fantasies. I think it's a pretty common one, which I had from the age of 9 or 10, of being sort-of-raped by an experienced older man in a special hut at the edge of the village--does this ring a bell?

He blindfolded me, and I reverted to a pretend young girl version of myself, while he pretended to instruct, use, and darkly dominate me--it was highly erotic, and involved lots of words on his part and lots of high, screamy whimpers on mine--highly erotic to say the least, other-worldly, so unusual that it's almost like it never happened. But I want it to happen again and again.

That was the afternoon, and I feel I've reached a milestone in honesty and being vulnerable to him, with the more dark and early secrets of my psyche.

We almost never have sex at night, and we almost never have sex in the dark. I like a long afternoon in bed, or something in the morning, when I feel fresh and energetic.

But last night at about 11:30, he was tired, and I wasn't. We talked and got ready for bed, lying there in the dark, and spooning together on our sides--I was on his back. I reached around for his balls and caressed them, jiggled them, and held them kindly in my hand. I love them. Then I touched his cock and pretended it was mine, saying really silly things as if I were a boy and playing with myself. We giggled.

Then I flipped him on his back and kissed his balls, licked his balls, and went down on him. I licked the head, I licked the underside in the line, I sucked, I gently bit, I went slow, then fast, gentle, then rough. I don't know where all that energy came from, but it was so nice, in the dark, and I just had my way with him. I want to be a Goddess of Good Head, and my motto is practice, practice, practice!

Until finally I found the speed and pressure that was what he wanted best that particular moment, and fucked him hard with my mouth, and made him moan. His semen tasted good this time (last time, it was bitter). And I stayed with him as he came, with all my devotion and love.

Then I kissed him with semen on my mouth, we washed up, and I masturbated, and came in his arms. We cuddled and laughed. Finally I was tired--we were up until about 2, which was selfish of me, but if I'm going to interfere with his sleep, that's the most welcome way. And it turns out he doesn't have to go to work today anyway, so why not.


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