authentic experience

Monday, April 17, 2006


I was lying on my back, my head at the edge of the bed, and he was standing over me, masturbating, and I had the most wonderful view from below. I finished him off, and he came on my face, which startled me a little, but it was wonderful to see if from a new perspective.

Then he pushed my g-spot and touched my left nipple while I rubbed my clitoris, and it was lovely. A sound I wasn't expecting from my mouth when I came.

Then we took a shower, ate really fast, and went to vespers.

The religion I do is so anti-sex, yet I'm so pro-sex, which is one of the reasons I don't know if I can stay with my religion for long. It's Vedanta, and my personal idea of god, Holy Mother Sarada Devi, gave her life in selfless service to Sri Ramakrishna, who was her husband, but they never did it.

Vedanta wants everyone to sublimate their sexual desires into religious impulses, but I don't. And I know it would be quite looked down upon if my Swami knew my whole-hearted devotion to bodily pleasures, though I do see sex as religious, as for me, there's no easier or more thorough way to get close to god than through coming.

Well, I said Holy Mother's my personal idea of god, but equally so, my personal idea of god is my husband. And why not fuck god daily.


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