what I'm doing

I started this blog to have a place to write about private matters, and I didn't really have a goal or agenda other than to write honestly. Tonight I got my first comment, and a negative one at that, which made me feel like scrapping the whole thing.

There's little I hate more than being misunderstood, and misunderstandings are so easy, when things are seen out of context. Even if a person read every single one of my posts, their view of my marriage would still be strange and very incomplete.

So I know it shouldn't hurt me, but it does, and it reminds me of when I wrote editorials for the newspaper at college. I did it for maybe a year before I got my first nasty letter to the editor, which insulted my grandma for not learning English easily in school. The insult cut me to the heart, and that was the last editorial I ever wrote for the college newspaper.

I'm very thin-skinned, which is a weakness, and I'd love to become tough. But I'm not tough yet.

So I've set the comments to "moderated," and we'll see if I can stay brave enough to keep speaking.

I was never out to portray myself in a positive light, to show myself as super-girl or super-wife. And I never asked for advice. Though maybe having commenting available at all implies that, or some people will infer that, even if it's not implied.

At any rate, this a sex blog, but it's also a marriage blog, and it's not really one-handed reading, or usually isn't. Not so good to jerk off to, at least not at the moment. Please be gentle with me.