authentic experience

Friday, April 21, 2006


This morning I went to a porn site where you watch people masturbate and see only their faces. There's a free sample, and well as an overview-teaser with some hot snippets overlaid with distracting narrations. Anyway, I had never seen such a thing and found it highly arousing. Nothing flashy, very focused just on the face and sounds. Almost minimalist.

The sample was a young latina who reminded me of me. It was fascinating to watch and hear her wank. It was extremely difficult to keep from doing the same. So it was a test of my fidelity, according to the rules of my marriage, and I passed.

What incredible suspense--when will she come? What will it sound like when she cries out? What motions will her body make as she comes? What expressions will cross her face? How will she feel, and will I be able to tell? It seemed very honest, which always appeals to me.

The thing I was most surprised learning was that I masturbate much slower than everyone else. The people I saw masturbated as fast as a hummingbird's heartbeat. I'll tell my husband all about it tonight. I slow to almost a standstill when I'm coming.

Yesterday afternoon we had an argument then had sex. He went down on me for--it's hard to judge time in bed, isn't it. A good while. It's difficult not to feel selfish accepting, and I imagine it's going to take a lot of practice for me to feel comfortable just lying back. I didn't quite come.

Then he fucked my mouth, and it's lovely--his penis is just perfect, to barely gag me when he's pushed in as far as he wants to, the perfect generous-yet-managable length, and a perfect, generous width. And a beautiful shape with a nice head, totally symetrical, as well as the tempting way it sticks up when he's hard. Gorgeous colors, nicely veined, strong-looking and strong, yet vulnerable-looking too, and vulnerable. Velvety, with so much personality. Very much his, him, part and parcel of this beautiful man.

I drank his semen as he spurted it into my throat.

Then he held me while I masturbated, and that was very nice, and at night right before bed, about midnight, we did something similar, but this time he came on my tits. I was masturbating while he jerked off, and we came at the same time, me just a couple seconds ahead, which was kinda romantic.

He's so sleepy today, though. He called me from work and sounded barely conscious. So sleep is in order for the weekend.


At Tuesday, June 13, 2006 3:39:00 AM, Blogger Fat Controller said...

I'm just working my way through your beautiful blog and I was struck by the phrase ' It's difficult not to feel selfish accepting'.

Trust me, lie back and accept. You're not being selfish. I'm sure your husband is deriving very real pleasure from giving you pleasure.

To go down on your partner is a joy, not a chore.


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