masturbation and porn

A reader emailed me a link to a Beautiful Agony clip, asking if the woman portrayed resembled me when I masturbate. Here's the link.

http://google.videoblog.ath.cx/video/98

I would have to say no in that I almost never have multiple orgasms like this woman seems to have, and I don't wear make-up or have such pornstar hair, or such a lovely tattooed arm. Also, I'm louder. Otherwise, yes, there are similarities!

I have been masturbating to orgasm regularly since I was 10. As a kid, I liked masturbating in the bathtub, letting the water run over my clit. I took a lot of baths....

I masturbated in bed also, rubbing my clit with the middle finger of my right hand, inserting something into me only rarely. Clit stimulation was key, and still is.

I never used porn as a child or teen. Well, an ex's dad had Playboys that I looked at, but it wasn't until I was 17 that I saw a Hustler and was pretty shocked.

Nowadays, of course, I like amateur porn a great deal and see a great deal of it online. I see mostly porn of one woman and one man together, or some combination of women and men. Two men with one woman is a favorite.

I also like gay porn. I enjoy seeing men masturbate, especially when they make a lot of moans as they come.

I like when there's a loving caress or loving words that pass between a couple. Kissing, especially men kissing! Strange or naughty words interest me as well, what someone says when they're coming. Sounds more than anything--I enjoy seeing the motions people make and penetration, but I would enjoy porn even if I were completely blind, because the cries and groans get me off more than anything.

I like seeing many men with one woman. I have never seen porn enacting rape fantsies, which actually might be too scary since the viewer wouldn't have complete assurance that what they were seeing was pretend, but if this were well done, I would really enjoy it.

I love real breasts, makeuplessness, women with body hair, all different kinds of cocks from small to large, uncircumcised and circumcised. Sincere-looking hands, sweet glances, large hands that caress someone's waist, when a couple is holding hands as they fuck, anyone touching anyone's hair.

On the other side of the spectrum, turn-offs are men in socks, anyone's wrist watches, high heels (though I suppose if the men were in high heels, I might like that), music, animal abuse, and any kind of pain beyond good-natured spankings.

I like good-natured spankings. In porn and in real life.

Anyway, lately, porn has become more of a regular part of our shared sex life. A couple days ago, he wanted to watch some, and I was completely interested. So we sat at my computer and masturbated together. It felt intimate, normal, friendly, very hot.

When I had had enough and needed to come really bad, we went to bed and fucked with all the enthusiasm of half-crazed drooling freaks, which is definitely enjoyable, and it was deeply satisfying, how slick my cunt was, and how our inhibitions were nonexistent from the long period of intense arousal and watching so many other uninhibited people. We come, make one another come, witness it, live it, and are filled with peace. It was an hour or two well-spent.

I'm slowly getting over the twinge of guilt--just the intimation of guilt, like I should feel guilty. I will ask if it's okay, what I like, and he comforts me.

after Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving trips interfered with our time for sex. So this morning, I knew what I wanted as soon as possible. After breakfast, I said I was taking a shower, and I suggested that he should too. A particular little smile told him why, and he gave me a particular smile in reply.

Twenty minutes later, we lay in bed together, clean and happy, and he touched my breasts. I kissed him. We nuzzled one another. We were keeping warm under the covers, and I felt his erection pressing against my arm.

You're beautiful, I said, as I peered under the blankets and touched his cock. I couldn't resist having him in my mouth anymore and dove to suck him off. I licked the underside and sucked the head gently. I went down on him deeply and felt the head at my throat. You can tell me what to do, I said.

What you're doing is really good, he said. Lick slowly, he said. So I licked very slowly, where the head meets the shaft, and the whole length of it, as he moaned.

I was lying on my back, and he was touching my tits, caressing me and brushing his fingers against my nipples over and over again. You can fuck my mouth, I said, and I liked the jagged way he thrust himself into me, when rational thought dies away, and the desire for sex is as strong as panic. I masturbated and felt the thickness and wetness of my clit.

He fucked my mouth harder and faster. My entire self felt like sex. I had to pause repeatedly in my clit-rubbing so I wouldn't come. I sucked his cock greedily, and I groaned with the feelings of ecstatic love.

Finally I couldn't live any longer without coming and stopped sucking his dick. Here, touch me, I said, and he rubbed my clit as I gently dug my nails into his shoulders and lost it completely when the orgasm thundered through my body, and I heard the screamy whimpering sounds flying out of my mouth for a long time, as he fingered me, and we listened to my cries die down and my breathing return to normal, with smiles and relief. I was entirely content and felt very peaceful.

Do you want to fuck me? I asked. But you can come on my tits if you want.

He told me that I'm very nice and climbed between my legs with a condom. He slipped himself into my wet cunt and fucked me however he liked. Although I had already come, and I'm a one-orgasm kind of woman almost always, the sensations were strong enough that I lost myself again.

He fucked me as long as he wanted and then kneeled to my left to beat off, but I ended up making him come, and the semen was messy and everywhere. His face contorted into the look of pure pleasure, and he was grunting and animal-sounding. I was glad.

It was only afterwards, when we were lying there half-asleep and giggley, that I reazlied how much I had needed to come with him and have him fuck me like that.

intense fuck after a few days of abstaining

Today I heard from a friend S when he read here that I had never had anal sex--he was surprised, and told me all about it, with encouragement to use lots of lube. I found his advice very sweet and hope to one day win my husband over. He has strong taboos about the anus.

Meanwhile, I learned a new word online today, squick, to refer to boundry-crossing yuckiness, that which repulses. I am easily squicked when it comes to pictures of people hurt during BDSM play, for example.

Lately we have been having sex face to face, with him on top, and we talk throughout. As for what turns me on during sex, sound is very important.

We somehow interrupted our recent schedule of every-other-day, and that can create a self-perpetuating situation. The importance of sex fades into the background because of the stress of life, and background is not where it belongs--if there's anything that can heal me from the stress of life, it's a passionate fuck.

So we were behind schedule, and I asked, Do you want to be close? We were nervous, as if we were shy school children.

Yes, he said.

Would you get a condom? I asked. They're on his side of the bed.

We kissed and touched. I wasn't feeling horny, but I knew that when it hit me, it would feel really, really good. Delaying sex has the unavoidable result of making my whole body flood with the happy chemicals of the pleasure of it.

He fucked my mouth. His cock felt so young and healthy. His balls smelled wonderful. He got hard in my mouth and pushed his cock deep inside my mouth, into my throat, cutting off my air for a second, and I felt very close to him, trusted. I was entering the mindset of someone who is going all the way, to the most extreme present-ness she can feel.

He got lubricant and rubbed my clit. My cunt was feeling sore and somewhat raw despite the days of rest--I must have been squeezing it between my legs a lot while fantasizing.

My clit got hard and erect very quickly, and I was gasping and begging within seconds. He stopped and put his cock in my mouth again, fucked my mouth for a while, and stopped suddenly. I knew he was stopping so he wouldn't come. He wanted to fuck my cunt as much as I wanted it.

He rubbed my clit some more, making me cry out and strain my body toward him, and fucked my mouth one more time before climbing between my legs, putting the condom on his dick, and slipping inside of me.

Oh, god, I said.

God, he said back to me.

I love your cock, I said.

I love you, he said.

Oh god, I said. His cock was so thick and real inside of me. Give it me, I said.

I'm going to give it to you, I said, and fucked me harder.

I've wanted you for so long, I said.

I've wanted you for so long, he said. He pumped between my legs. I love the weight of his body on me. I love to caress his back as he fucks me, touch his hair, grab and hold his strong upper arms.

Give it me, I said.

Take it, he said. We looked into one another's eyes.

I want your cock, I said. I love your cock.

I love your cunt, he said.

God, you're so good, I said.

You're such a good fuck, he said.

I shifted the position of my legs. We groaned and grunted as we fucked. My entire body was filled with excited happiness.

It feels so good, I said. Yeah, yeah, oh my god.

Yeah, he said. Yeah. He sucked my nipple as he fucked me.

I want it, I said.

Take it, he said. His lip curled into something like a sneer. He fucked me quickly, to the point of delirium. We were in some other world, a world of only sex. Take it! he said.

Please, I said.

Take it, he said.

Yes, please, please, I said.

He pounded me, and his face was beautiful as the feelings overtook his body. I'm going to come, he said.

Come in me, I said. Please.

Aahhh, ahhhh, ahhhhr, ahhhhhhhr, he groaned and grunted as he pounded his cock into me. I watched his face as he slowly relaxed.

He lay down beside me and said, That felt so good, as he touched my tits and I rubbed my clit. It felt happy that it was my turn to come. I arranged the pillows to support my right arm and took my time, rubbing my clit sweetly as I rubbed my face on his face and smelled his neck.

Mmmm, I said, as I knew that coming was imminent. You touch, I said, and moved his hand to my cunt.

He rubbed my clit quickly, and I began whimpering. I'm going to come, I said. You're going to make me come. I imagined the thickness of his cock pumping in and out of me as the intense waves hit me, and I came on his hand as he continued to rub and stroke my clit with his sweet, beautiful fingers.

five things you didn't know about me

There's a meme "five things you didn't know about me" that I read on another sex blogger's site and liked. But I keep this blog so super-anonymous, there are scarely five things you do know about me.

I have another blog for regular life, and this one's all sex, all the time. But what would you like to know, dear readers? And you, dear readers, are mostly strangers, and just a few friends.

1. After sex, I require cuddle. Also, I tend to be hungry.

2. My nipples are very sensitive. I can only wear bras that don't have a seam that goes over the nipple. Actually, I also wear my underwear insideout because the seams can bother me on underwear too. I wear my socks insideout for the same reason. And tags bother me, on my shirts, pants, skirts, dresses. I usually cut them off.

3. I don't shave. I wear long skirts a lot. I never wear any type of hose, tights, etc because I hate them. I like a lot of cotton and don't buy any clothes of unnatural fibers. However, much of my clothing was given to me, so I wear synthetics fibers sometimes. And it's hard to find 100% cotton socks.

4. I almost never have sex at night. Afternoon is peak.

5. I have never had anal sex and look forward to it. Both ways.

There, that was actually kind of easy.

rape fantasy

warning:
pretend non-consensual sex ahead—skip if it’s not your thing

I asked him to put his dick in my mouth, and he did. I felt its details and was purely delighted and turned on. I asked, Do you want to pretend like I’m a little girl?

Like you don’t want it? he asked.

And I said yes. So I put on a blindfold, and he left the room. When he came back, he spoke as a stranger, with a stranger’s words and a deeper, more steady voice. Hello there, little girl. I’m here to fuck you, he said. Do you know what a cock is?

No, I said.

Well, right now, you’re going to suck it, he said. Suck it now. He shoved it into my mouth, and I sucked greedily.

Do you like sucking it? he asked.

No, I said.

He paused, then saw my little smile. Well, I’m going to make you suck it, he said. And I did.

Then he rubbed my tits hard and said, You have big tits, little girl. I like your tits, and I’m going to do whatever I want with them.

No, I said, and I covered my tits with my hands.

Yes, he said, grabbing my wrists and pushing them down on the bed. Yes. I’m going to do whatever I want to you. Now I’m going to fuck you. Do you want to be fucked, little girl?

No, I said.

Well, I’m going to fuck you anyway, he said. I could hear him putting the condom on. Now I’m putting my cock in your cunt.

No, I said. No, no, no.

Yes, he said, ramming it in. I’m fucking you, and it feels good.

No, I said.

Yes, he said and fucked me hard. I whimpered as he did.

Then I started to struggle. I twisted and turned to try to get away from him, and he pushed me down. I tried to push him off of me, and he held his place, fucking me even harder. I cried out in frustration and false dismay. I whimpered and moaned. He fucked me fast and passionately.

Our talking died down then. Our communication was all physical. I tried to close my legs. He roughly pushed them open wider, which made me gasp.

I tried to twist away again, and he held me down by the forearms, which slightly hurt in a way I enjoyed. I would struggle and rest, struggle and rest.

I was wet and panting. He was hot and sweating from pushing back against my strong arms and legs. My cunt was wide open to him. He did it to me like he was angry.

No, I said.

Yes, he said. I’m fucking you.

No, I said.

I’m going to come in you now, he said, and he grunted and groaned as he fucked me deeply and intently, and the come spurted inside of me.

We lay there gasping for air. Then his hand went to my cunt. I’m going to make you come now, little girl.

No, I said.

Yes, he said. I’m going to make you come by rubbing your clit.

I felt hotter and more aroused than ever. He rubbed my clit fast, and I pushed against his fingers. My whimpering was loud and desperate as he made me come, and huge waves of ecstatic happiness pounded through my body for a long time.

We took off my blindfold and smiled at one another.

We held eachother for a long time, and I asked, Was that okay? and, Do you think it's okay that I like that?

I like it too, he said, and he reassured me for as long as I wanted as he held me and petted my hair.

While pretending he was someone else, he had never been more himself. I know his body like I know my own. We could pretend anything, and I would only love him more.

in which I suck his dick, fuck him, and beat him off

He was eating his lunch in bed, and I was lying beside him, curled up, and took off my shirt. He touched my breasts as he ate. I started rubbing his cock through his shorts and jiggling his balls. Tell me sexual messages, I said.

You’re so hot, he said. You’re very, very sexy.

What do you want to do with me? I asked.

I want to shoot my come on your tits, he said. I want you to see it.

Do you want me to beat you off? I asked. He said yes. It was decided that I would suck his dick, fuck him, and then beat him off.

So he finished his lunch and put his dick in my mouth. It was clean and felt young and healthy on my tongue, between my lips, and down my throat. He fucked my mouth. I licked the underside and grabbed his ass to force him deeper. I sucked like the greedy cock-whore that I am.

Get a condom, I said. I pushed him onto his back and went down on him some more. I went fast and without a lot of subtlety. He was gasping and happy, and I put the condom on him and climbed on.

I fucked him however I liked. I fucked him deeply and completely. Then I did it shallow and fast. I put him far into me and just humped him. He sucked my nipples and held my tits tightly. He moaned and made a lot of noise for me.

I squatted on the bed and fucked him fast like that. I put my hands on his shoulders and put the weight into my arms so I was pinning him. At one point, he gave me a look that means, You better stop or I’m going to come, so I stopped momentarily. Then I fucked him a little more.

He seemed so appreciative. I felt I could just go on forever. I was so wet, and it started feeling very good to me too, so I just rode him for a while, stopping every so often so he couldn’t come, and rode him some more.

When I got tired, I climbed off, and he removed the condom. I got some lubricant and jacked him off as fast as I could. Then I slowed down and went through the cycle over and over again. I rubbed the lubricant on his balls and squeezed them, then jacked him off some more, until he said, I’m going to come, and I went fast and hard. I saw the white, thick liquid squirt out of him, and I heard his groans. He came for a long time. I kept going for as long as I dared, watching his face. Then I rubbed the underside where the head meets the shaft while he rested and caught his breath.

That was incredible, he said. It’s like you can read my mind, he said. I sopped up his come with tissues and went to wash my hands.

Then I came back to bed and masturbated. He put two fingers inside of me, but then he put three, which felt incredible. I rubbed my clit and said his name over and over as I was close to coming. I was whimpering and groaning as the huge waves hit me, and I was coming as I imagined his cock moving in and out of me, slow and intense.